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Thursday, January 12, 2012

For You

When I first met you, It was weird but exciting at the same time....After awhile I started to call you my dad...You were sweet and kind...You always protected me and what was weird you told guys off for me...When I first heard that you were sick..I was in the hospital having my training and I went to the bathroom and started crying...I prayed that you would get better...But as time passed you got worse and on the day that you left us I just fell on the hospital floor crying....I love you as my dad and friend..I would never forget you...I lost them all Dad...because I listened to some bitches who werent worth my time....I lose Lee, Aimee, Ikat, Kat and Mommy Akira...I wish you were here to set me straight again...I don't know what I'm doing anymore dad....You always saw the best in me...Even when I did stupid things you protected me...Lee took over that when you left the first time...He protected me and respected me but I lost him....I feel so sad and angry at the same time....Now I can't take back all that I said...I guess they will never really know how much I truly love all of them...I still cry everynight thinking of our family....But I act tough infront of them saying I dont give a fuck about it anymore but really inside my heart is breaking with what I say...Dad I wish you were still around...Lee misses you so much and he needs you...Why did you leave us especially him?? Can't I just follow you now?? I don't think I can keep living anymore....I wanna go with you and be by your side as we look at all the people we love go on with their lives...dad I know I shouldn't say that I wanna die now too....but my life isn't what I planned it to be....I'm having such a hard time trying to move on....Zizo I wish you can see this....I finally said what is truly in my heart.. You would have been proud of me....I changed alot since you left us...