My soulmates have changed...they used to be everything to me but since some of them drifted away...I decided to change who the real people of my life are...Muhammad Firdaus(Ferdie), Nur Intan, Hidayah, Bryan Paldomarez(My Hubby) and ChrisNazrin....The 5 of you brought happiness to my life...I don't know what I would do if any of you gets hurt...

Ferdie:You never fail to make me smile even if all I wanna do is cry and never look back...You became my strength, My laughter and my Rock...I wish that you'll never leave my side...I love u sayang...(hehehe)

Bryan: Asawa koh...mahal na mahal kita...Ikaw lang ang liwanag nang buhay ko...sana hindi mo ako iiwanan kasi hindi ko po alam kung kaya kong mawala ka sakin...Hon promise mo sakin na kahit anong mangyari kahit man may problema tayo..maguusap tayo...and we'll fix lahat nang problems natin...Mahal na kita...Sana lagi kitang kasama...Ayoko na na malayo ko sakin....gusto ko na timira uli dyan sa Pinas para makasama ka lagi...mahal kita at ikaw lang...sana mahal mo rin ako...

New Guys in My Life

Woah!! It's been ages since I wrote on my blog....Well my life has been weird lately....All the people I know and trust seems to backstab me lately...I don't like to put names here....So I won't....but I'm also grateful because I found some guys that made me happy....

They became a part of who I am now....They made me happy and feel like I'm worth living....

One of the guys who became an important part of my life is Ferdie...He's sweet and kind...and he makes me smile....I don't know what I'll do if something happens to him....He's my best friend....He never fails to make me happy...I'm so grateful that I met him....He replaced that whole in my heart when Anas left....He became the person I talk to all the time and that role used to belong to Anas but since he left...I couldn't put myself back together till Ferdie came along....I'm so happy that Ferdie came along and he somehow helped me get thru a difficult time in my life...I don't know what I will do if he wasn't in my life now....

Muhammad Firdaus I love you...You're the best friend, brother and somehow my darling boy anyone can ever have....I will always remember you and keep you in my heart forever....<3

Starting A new Me

Whoa!!! Everyone has been telling me I lost weight which is so weird cos I think I gained...well anyways...I went and chopped my usually long looks about 2 months ago...and I love it though I miss my long hair....

Now to my love life...hmmm what can i say about it?? well I have too many guys at the moment...I just have to pick one I truly like and stick with him....

Well that's all for now...I'll try to write every week or whenever I have the chance....

xoxo

Pain and Suffering

why do i feel that you're gone? i wanted to see you but something was in the way...i didn't wanna let you go...It hurts to see you even if it's for the last time...i cant keep my tears from falling for you..even if you're not mine to have I'll still love you as if you were mine...please take care of my heart cos u don't wanna give it back to me...don't break it return it when u come back...i will always love you..i wont forget you...

Can you not break my heart?

You said you had to leave...I begged you to stay..in the end I finally said ok but asked you if i can have my heart back cos you stole it from me...You said you'll keep it cos it's your sweetest memory of me...I told you to pls take care of my heart and you said ok...But how do I know that you won't just break it and throw it away? Can I really trust you not to break it? Not to forget me and how much we mean to each other? Keep catching raindrops so you can show me how much I mean to you...

It's all about you

I didn't wanna think about you leaving but as the days pass by, I guess I have to come to terms of it...It's painful to know that I won't see you around anymore and that the smile I love so much won't brighten my days anymore...couldn't you just stay awhile more and not leave me behind?? I love how you make me smile and forget all my worries...Thank you for making realize that life is worth living and I'll never regret meeting you...Saranghaeyo...

My Letter to Someone special

I never really got over you he said to me..I saw it all in his eyes..The emotions spilling out...I didn't know what to say..I know in my heart that I still love him but can I trust myself to be trust him again after what he did to me??
Things were never normal between us..He cheated on me with my best friend while I was flirting with his brother but he's all I ever wanted in my life and I regret losing him..I wish he was still mine to hold, kiss and hug but he's not...He belongs to someone else he loves now..He was,is, my whole life...I just don't know how to tell him after I told him I'm over him...This whole note is for him..I hope he reads this and know how strong my feelings are for him..I can't do anything about this emotions I have for him cos I know he'll never feel same way again..It's so hard to hide these feelings from him as I miss him all the time now that I don't see him everyday...Love is unconditional..He's all I want and all I'll ever need..
Sometimes I hoped things will be the same way it was when we were together..I was so happy then..I didn't have a care in the world all I need and ever wanted was with him...I miss his hugs and kisses...They were filled with love only meant for me...But now it's all gone for we've grown apart...Is it wrong to still love you even though you see me as sister now? Do you remember what happened to us? I do..It's still vivid in my mind...The silence and ignoring each other...It took us months to be social to each other...It was practically a hostile situation for us..We barely talked and that sucks cos you were my best friend as well as my boyfriend...I know I shouldn't feel this way now that you think someone replaced you in my heart but no matter what happens you'll always be in my heart..
You're the love I regretted losing till now...You're still my one and only love..If only I can turn back time just to be your girl again..We were so happy then but now all I want is for you to be happy with whoever you want...Love your girlfriend as you have loved me..And she'll be happy...Just know that I still love you with all my heart...